The Rollercoster of Life

It's been a while since i've updated the blog because life has just blown in like a ghust of wind from all sides raising and dishoveling everything close to me, some good, some hard, some painful.

1st, we moved into our new apartment, which I am loving. Unpacking has been stressful just because it always is, but I've enjoyed redecorating. Not only do i love our little place, but I love where we are located. I told Michael recently, I live a life of inner turmoil, I love and hate Corvallis so passionately. I'll explain some of this later. But I really do love corvallis. Our apartment is in town now, so Nixon and I can practically walk anywhere. It's so green and beautiful around our apartment, and since corvallis is such a family oriented city, there's plenty of parks close by for the little guy and I to enjoy.

On the other hand I hate Corvallis right now. Those who follow my facebook know that a couple weeks ago, I lost one of my newest and best friends and her little son. I work at night at a Senior Living Center for Alzheimers patients. It has it's ups and downs, but one of my very favorite things about working there was Kelsey Baker. From the first night we started working together we hit it off. Not only did we have semi similar lives, with our work and babies, but I truely enjoyed her company. Of all people I've known, there have been a handful, that I never get enough of because I'm so happy when i'm with them. When we weren't spending eight hours of work talking, and laughing together, we were getting lunch or having playdates together. Nixon and I couldn't get enough of Kelsey and Theo. But a few weeks ago, they were stolen away from this life. I've been dealing with emotions up the wazoo. Sometimes i just want to laugh at some of my memories and sometimes I want to just cry and sleep because a world without Kelsey and Theo is definately lacking. So I hate Corvallis, because not only does it seem like there's something missing to me, but somedays everything seems to remind me that they were snatched from life and I will never be able to enjoy them again.

Luckily right after this happened, my parents flew up for a trip that was pre planned. It couldn't have come at a better time. It was a time of relaxation, emotional rehab, long needed family fellowship. I forget just how much I miss my family until I see them (if that even makes sense.) It's just so beautiful to see my dad squeezing Nixon in his arms. And when I'm conversing with my mom, I just feel a sense of "home." I had such a wonderful time during their visit.

Then I came back to real life after my vacation from it. I had my first day of work without Kelsey. It pretty much consisted of me feeling fine when i was talking with my co-workers, but then left to myself, internally fighting with every inch in me, not to let my watery eyes drop one tear. Literally, my neck was sore at the end of the night from clenching it the whole time in order to not cry. For some reason I felt this burden not to act like anything was wrong or missing because it would make others feel awkward. Meanwhile Michael's work had become a big dishoveled mess too. Tw0 people out of his 3 person sales department left. Needles to say, stress is at an all time high in certain parts of our lives...

And then I look at mr. Nixon, and everything seems to not be as bad. No pain or sorrow in my life seems to compare to the joy God gives me daily through that little muffin. Each evening, I find myself cuddled up in Michaels nook on the couch watching Nixon run around and our world seems right again. I don't know how we got so lucky to be entrused by God to take care of this beautiful, joyful child while on this earth.

I have truely found the Lord to be my rock, and Michael to be my stablity on the rock, to catch me when I falter, and Nixon to be my added joy to make the tough stuff not seem so impossible.

p.s. Nixon is just eating up knowlege right now. He says so many funny words that aren't quite right and it makes me melt. Like when I change his diaper he says "pu pu" which is his way of saying poo poo. I ask him what his name it and he says "Nishin." He's always finding brushes and brushing his hair, or finding shovels and spoons and pretending to eat, and afterwards going "mmmm." He's been going down for naps so much better too, and now when he wakes up, on the moniter I hear, bu bye, hi, and giggles. :) WHAT A BLESSING HE IS~

the Madness that was March

Well in the month of march, things have just seemed so busy. Mad Mad Madness I tell you.

Michael and I have been really feeling in our heart that it was time to move into a new place. We love our home now but its a little far from "town" and it doesn't have a stove. I've really been wanting to take on cooking again. It's been weiging on my heart, especially with Nixon growing and needing real meals, I've been craving a kitchen of my own. So for that last couple months, I've been looking at places in Corvallis, almost daily and becoming very discouraged. I didn't want to move to anywhere with less square footage and our place was pretty big. Two bedrooms was a must. I wanted nice cabinetry and preferred 2 bathrooms, in a good part of town. And it all had to be in our price range In my search, I found craigslist fraud up the wazoo, most places had less square footage, or the indsides just wouldn't work for a toddler. But we finally found a complex, 1 min outside of town, bigger than our place now, on the lake, and (wait for it...) there's two bathrooms. I'm so excited. So last month, i was going crazy filling out applications to places, and this month is going to be crazy with moving.

Nixon is doing so much. He had his dr.s appointment and was told he had "above average vocabulary." This was such a blessing, because I've secretly been insecure about Nixon's timing of things. I knew a lot of people who had babies that called around 7 months, but Nixon started crawling at the end of 9 months. I remember the day he started crawling, i was so excited, and we went to Michael's work celebrating, only for a woman to say "oh he's 9 months, is he walking, My friends baby who is 9 months is working on walking." It totally crushed my high. Then when it came to walking, I knew a lot of people who's babies walked at 1 year. Nixon started walking at about 13 or 14 months. Everyone said that he was right on schedule, but i couldn't help but feel like he was "slow." So for the doctor to say his vocabulary was above average was such an answer to prayer. It doesn't make me feel like he's at all advanced, but finally right on schedule. I think if he said Nixon was average, I would have felt like "yeah but he was late on the other stuff, so he's still kind of slow." but since he's a little ahead, i feel like it made up for the crawling and walking and he's just perfectly average!

He's doing so much. Cracking his own jokes. He blows kisses, gives hugs, scrunches his hand to wave, he says bu bye. He says "heh oh" which is hello. It really is just so fun. He's almost completely wiened off of a bottle. He only uses it before bed time but he's finally taken to sippy cups. And he can eat anything. I'm sorry this is a boring post, i just had to write it to document our family :)

Apples and Re-Visited Toys

So recently while Nixon and I were at the grocery store, we were in the produce section and I stumbled across something amazing in my own little Mommy world. Baby sized apples!!! I've been trying really hard to get Nixon to eat adult food, so when he's older, I'm not having to blend or cut food up special for Nixon. Sorry, but I'm not sending my child to school with a baby food sack lunch. So Nixon and I have been sharing real fruit, sometimes babanas, sometimes pears, and sometimes apples. I eat them whole with Nixon. And at times I'll give Nixon his own whole apple to hold in his hands to eat, but it's just kind of pitiful to watch those tiny hands try to hold the giant apple. So I bought these baby sized apples. Oddly enough they cost more than regular sized apples but it was worth the difference. Nixon was so happy with his Nixon sized apple. He just looks like a little "big person." Another thing I'm learning as a Mom is the fickle mind of growing babies/toddlers when it comes to toys. Nixon will love a toy for a couple days and then he won't touch it for weeks. I'll put it in front of him and he'll just toss it aside. Then all of the sudden he will rediscover it later and it will be the best thing ever that day. He has three large tubs of toys in random spots in our home. He'll dive into the same one consistantly for a week and ignore the other two. Then the next week, that tub might as well not exhist and his only concern will be the next tub. So last night Michael and I were sitting on the couch talking while Nixon was doing his own thing over by his toys (which really means taking toys out of the box and placing them all over the house and then focusing on one toy.) All of the sudden he starts crying. He is leaned over his box, sifting through the box crying. I thought he might have smashed his finger, or lost his balance and maybe teetered into the box a little. Michael went over there and started laughing. He said "oh no, we aren't hurt we just can't get the red piano out." It was just a little humerous moment for the Lang family because I bought this piano for Nixon when he was about 6 months old because he HAD to have it. Then when we brought it home he was less than thrilled for it. Now 9 months later Nixon wants it so bad he's having a meltdown because he can't play with it. Needless to say ALL NIGHT LONG all we heard was the clanging of those four keys over and over.

1st Official Hair Cut

Today I went to get my hair cut by our normal hair stylist, Kristy. She's been cutting Michael's hair since before we were even engaged. Then when we were married I started getting my done by her. She's been there through the pregnancy cutting my hair and after. It was only right to take Nixon to her for his first official hair cut. He's gotten a little trim at home from Michael, but it was time to have his hair cut into a style. I was celebrating because my bald baby finally had enough hair to actually get a real hair cut!

So after I got my hair cut, Nixon got in the big seat. He was so serious and so still through the whole thing (just like how he gets at the doctors when he is checked.) When he was first put in the chair with the cover around his neck, he looked like a tiny floating head amongst a big dark drape. He looked nervous and I was afraid he would just break down crying and there would be no hair cut because his face looked so unsure. But he braved through it.To get him to look down, we used our phones with videos for him to watch. He was quiet the whole time and barely moved his head to peak in the mirror. Kristy kept saying his behavior was "unreal" for someone his age. We were definately proud doting parents today...and of course, he got a phohawk!

Sticks sticks sticks

Nixon's favorite toys this week are sticks! For some reason our bathroom is the temptress of all rooms for Nixon to get into bad things. As if the drawers and cabinet door aren't exciting enough for him, and his new joy found in flushing the toilet over and over aren't tempting enough now the little guy has found the joy of long sticks which are the major body part of the toilet cleaner, the plunger, and the broom (all lovely toys for a child to play with.) So now if i'm not careful while getting ready, I will catch this tiny little guy walking with his belly out front, his bum sticking out back, and his arms in the air waiving around the broom or toilet cleaner, or walking around with the plunger like a walking stick. So hilariously odd. (oh side note, he realized that he can lift the toilet seat himself, so after finding him poking the water with his pointer finger while holding up the toilet seat, we got a toilet lock)

Another small task but big in the eyes of mommy, Nixon can dismount from the couch all on his own. In the past, Michael and I have had to watch Nixon closely while he's on the couch or bed because he would crawl his fastest right to the edge without thinking about the fall after the edge. We've been working on instilling the idea of "turn around, and slowly lower your feet to the ground," which he finally applied today all on his own while we were on the couch. There's something new everyday.

Recently I've been reading in Chronicles 2 about all the different kings who ruled the house of David after him, and how eventhough some followed the Lord, some sons didn't and ruined the kingdom. So I've just beed reminded how important it is to raise Nixon up in the Lord and show him my passion so he will be intrigued too. So I have these little CD's that are a Bible verse a song and Nixon actually really likes it, (he usually cries at worship music and smiles at mainstream music like Eminem.) So every morning we listen to these CD's and he dances/sometimes makes weird sounds that I think are his way of singing so far. Kinda fun.

Walking

I can now say that my little son is walking! I consider him a full walker now that he can actually sand himself up from a crawling/sitting position and begin to walk. In a way he looks smaller to me than before. When he was crawling he looked like a big crawler, but now that he's walking I think to myself, "how odd that that little body can move just like mine."

Nixon decided that he likes bananas today. He's the worlds pickiest eater. And up until today hated bananas, but today we ate half a banana together and he didn't open his mouth with it on his tongue for it to fall off, (which is a new rediculous habit when he does't like the food :) ) It could be the fact that Mama liked the banana and was sharing it with him, I don't know but I wouldn't be suprised with tomorrow he decided he actually didn't like it.

It's funny how you can live in a place of your life and feel like "I wan't and know there's something more for us." and become impatient, but then when things get in motion, you just want to be in that comfortable place again. For so long i've thought to myself, it might be time to move out of Corvallis. I've been looking at apartments, and jobs. And I know it's right around the corner. But today I woke up to a snowy winter wonderland outside the window of my cozy, warm, roomy home and thought, "boy am I glad i dind't miss this." And all of the sudden I find myself holding on to the door for dear life instead of pushing it like I normally do. It's funny how God meets us where we are at and can always find ways to remind us that his plan is a bit bigger than ours.

14 Months

Well my little guy is 1 year and 2 months old! It's so weird to me that so much time has lapsed.
The little man is still crawling and will walk a couple steps. I guess i thought in the walking process that he would just realized he can take steps and then just start walking everywhere, but instead he crawls everywhere with a few steps here and there.

He likes to explore his toys on his own. He's very independent in that way. He needs me in the room or near him but he doesn't need me engaged in the toys, though I like to be for the little fellowship with him. When he plays with his little cars, he likes to make a rumbling sound with his lips. It's s funny because he just picks up on this some where, some how.

He's broadening his appetite. He can pretty much eat anything, but his diet is still a lot of baby food with a lot of crackers and adult food here and there in the day. He still hates vegetables though.

He is in a phase wehre he likes to drop things into big open areas, like toys down into the bath, things get tossed in the trash, and the hamper. He tossed a toy between mivhaels legs into the toilet while he was using the restroom the other day.

He also likes glancing at you from different positions like tilting his head to the side or looking over and under things to look at you.

On another note, we are looking at relocating withing the year, but the process has been a lot harder than we expected, We are praying a lot, that God will open doors but just waiting. So fingers crossed.

Nixon is a year and a month

My littleolder he gets, the more i fall in love with him. baby boy is turing into just a tiny little man. Oh and the older he gets the more I fall in love with him. he has so much personality, yet he's still so small and babyish. It's adorable. He hasn't started crawling yet, so even though he's getting taller, and leaner, and so much more mentally develouped, he's still my baby because he's still a crawler, not quite a toddler to me.

He talks all the time. Well i should say tries very very hard, and babbles. He's always pointing and saying things like "eesh ba ba dis ma ma da da ish." He also has times where he repeats little sounds you say, and it's so funny.

H's figuring out little things too and it blows me away how smart he's becoming. He waves remotes around in front of the tv thinking that that's how you change things on t.v. He will take phones and rest them on his shoulder because that's what he sees us do.

He's becoming more cuddly and recently more needy. He will crawl to another room but look for you to follow, when you do, he usually will crawl to your feet and pull on your pant legs and lift his arms for you to pick him up. The minute he's picked up his little finger pops out and his arm straightens out to point at somehting for you to take him to see. So fucute. When he's tired, he will come over and lay his head on you for a few seconds, or he will find somehting soft and lay his head on it and stare at you with a big smile.

He is such a charmer. He' loves to dance/bounce anytime he's aware of music. He smiles and says hi at people all the time when we are out. Everyone always comments on his smile and how much teeth he has.

I told michael today that when we were married the 1st couple years i remember thinking this is the best, it can't get better than this, little did i know how without our life was till now. This sweet little boy is such a blessing even when he's tired and dissobedient, he's still such a sweet and cute little boy. God has blessed me so much with such a sweet and loving husband and adorable little babyl